Star Trek Review

Warning: Spoiler Alert!

The new Star Trek movie is out, and I thought I'd offer my own synopsis and review.

The movie's plot, such as it is, starts in the past of the future portrayed as the present in the old series. It then fast forwards twice, but it's still in the past. A familiar character from the old series falls through a plot hole and drastically alters the present from what it was supposed to be. Somehow, that doesn't seem to matter, and everyone meet up and become friends as if nothing happened. Kirk goes from adult delinquent to cadet to ship Captain in just a few short plot twists, all the while fighting an enormous plot-hole generating Romulan mining ship that somehow has enough weapons to take on multiple Federation ships simultaneously. Everything that falls into the plot hole is either transported through time or destroyed, except for the movie itself, which somehow does both.

Fortunately, there's enough action, half-naked women, and other visual effects to keep your attention firmly unfocused. All in all, best Star Trek movie ever.